My new competitive streak

I feel so proud to report that I've had another successful weigh-in this week. I'm down another two pounds for a total of 28.4 pounds lost. I'm within 18 pouns of my goal weight, and I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. I can't even remember the last time I saw a number below 175 on the scale, and I'm comfortably below that number now. I don't want to see it again unless I get pregnant in the future.

I mentioned in my last blog post that i was going to win my battle. There is a lot that goes into winning for me. It's more than just a number or a dress size for me. For me, it is a battle I've fought since Dad died. It's the battle of taking control over my life and not being a victim of circumstance. Everyone has bad stuff that happens to them. I chose to eat in order to deal with the emotional trauma associated with the loss of my dad and grandfather in the same month. I don't need to do that anymore. Through counseling, I think I've reconciled a lot of the unresolved issues surrounding my dad's death. I'm no longer terrified to drive on highways and I've been able to see the silver lining: we donated Dad's tissues, which have significantly improved the quality of life of other people; Gregg an I turned our relationship around and we're happily married for 2 1/2 years now; and I have my feet firmly planted on the ground with a healthy worldview. The weight is the only thing left for me to conquer in order to feel like I've started my life over again.

I also like to look at my weight loss as a competition, especially when I look at my journey with Weight Watchers. I like to compete with myself to see how much I can eat for the least amount of points plus values. I like to see how many activity points I can earn on a given day or week. Then I like to compete with myself to see how much weight I can loose. This is kind of like my relationship with swimming, where I competed with myself before I competed against other people. I think I'm developing that relationship with running, too. I push myself further in terms of speed or distance on a regular basis. I run my 10k a week from today, and that's a push that I don't think I was ready for even a month ago. But I know that I can run for at least an hour straight, so I can do this!