I'm so tired of watching my family members die from preventable disease. Yesterday I learned that my uncle was in the ICU and will likely not make it out alive. He has failed to take care of his numerous health conditions. His heart is only functioning at 20% and all of his other health issues complicate the treatment of his ailments.
What I don't get is that we all watched this uncle's parents die from lung cancer. Both cancers were directly attributable to smoking. We all saw my dad's accident as a likely result of heart disease. His mother also had heart disease, and a heart attack at 43. My mom's mon had heart disease and has had multiple surgeries on her heart and now her joints from a lack of exercise.
I'm tired of seeing this happen to all the people around me. I have committed to living a healthy lifestyle. I can't bear the thought of my cousin being only 21 and losing his father. It's bad enough that my sister and I experienced the same thing. How many more kids have to become adults without parents? If we ever have kids, I want to watch them graduate college, get married, and help with the landscaping on their first house. I want to meet my grand kids. My dad didn't have that chance and now my uncle will miss out too. It seems like such a waste.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Vegetarian Enchiladas 6 WW PointsPlus
This is super easy and we usually have all these ingredients stocked in the pantry. This is a great quick meal for the middle of the week, or in my case today: Monday night.
To make, get a big bowl and empty drained cans of black beans, pinto beans, Mexicorn, and salsa into the bowl and mix. I added a bag of seasoned Morningstar meal starter crumbles. I seasoned mine with some cumin and garlic- use whatever you while your tacos seasoned with. Mix this into your bean and corn mixture. This is your enchilada filling.
Pour canned (or homemade) enchilada sauce into the bottom of a baking dish. Tonight I used two of the smaller Pyrex dishes because I didn't decide to make the whole recipe until halfway through. I put about a half cup of enchilada filling into the center of a tortilla and then wrap the tortilla like a burrito, but I leave my ends open. Do this until you run out of filling, I made a dozen. Don't be afraid to sardine the enchiladas in there. Everything's pre-cooked for the most part so there isn't a temperature issue. Then pour the rest of your enchilada sauce and sprinkle some cheese on top. Pop your baking dish into the oven at 350 degrees for about a half an hour. I like mine topped with light sour cream.
Enjoy!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Running away from it all
I recently have decided that I might be becoming a runner. I'm running my very first 10k in two days after a few 5k races with improving times. I have to say that I'm pretty excited about trying the longer distance. I even registered for a ten mile race the first weekend of May and I've looked at adding a half marathon before it gets too hot, too. I may delay that until December, though.
What I love about running is that it offers me a lot of the same competition with myself that I loved about swimming. After tearing both of my shoulders to shit from three years of non-stop swimming in high school, I think I've ruled swimming for a regular exercise out of my domain. They're still really weak from the abuse I put them through. But when I run, I start to feel the same feelings about my athleticism that I felt from being in the pool.
When I run, I just feel pretty good. I feel strong and fit. I love pushing myself to run five minutes longer than last time or push the treadmill a few bumps faster than last time. There are so many ways that I can push myself to excel. The icing on the cake is that unlike swimming, there are plenty of opportunities to race and improve my time in a more official manner.
Overall, my favorite part about running is without a doubt the activity points that I earn when I run. By running three times a week, I'm adding at least one full day's worth of food to my weekly diet and I'm still able to lose weight! I will be hitting the 30 pound mark this weekend at my weigh-in. Wish me luck and think some happy and fast thoughts!
What I love about running is that it offers me a lot of the same competition with myself that I loved about swimming. After tearing both of my shoulders to shit from three years of non-stop swimming in high school, I think I've ruled swimming for a regular exercise out of my domain. They're still really weak from the abuse I put them through. But when I run, I start to feel the same feelings about my athleticism that I felt from being in the pool.
When I run, I just feel pretty good. I feel strong and fit. I love pushing myself to run five minutes longer than last time or push the treadmill a few bumps faster than last time. There are so many ways that I can push myself to excel. The icing on the cake is that unlike swimming, there are plenty of opportunities to race and improve my time in a more official manner.
Overall, my favorite part about running is without a doubt the activity points that I earn when I run. By running three times a week, I'm adding at least one full day's worth of food to my weekly diet and I'm still able to lose weight! I will be hitting the 30 pound mark this weekend at my weigh-in. Wish me luck and think some happy and fast thoughts!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
My new competitive streak
I feel so proud to report that I've had another successful weigh-in this week. I'm down another two pounds for a total of 28.4 pounds lost. I'm within 18 pouns of my goal weight, and I can't even begin to describe how excited I am. I can't even remember the last time I saw a number below 175 on the scale, and I'm comfortably below that number now. I don't want to see it again unless I get pregnant in the future.
I mentioned in my last blog post that i was going to win my battle. There is a lot that goes into winning for me. It's more than just a number or a dress size for me. For me, it is a battle I've fought since Dad died. It's the battle of taking control over my life and not being a victim of circumstance. Everyone has bad stuff that happens to them. I chose to eat in order to deal with the emotional trauma associated with the loss of my dad and grandfather in the same month. I don't need to do that anymore. Through counseling, I think I've reconciled a lot of the unresolved issues surrounding my dad's death. I'm no longer terrified to drive on highways and I've been able to see the silver lining: we donated Dad's tissues, which have significantly improved the quality of life of other people; Gregg an I turned our relationship around and we're happily married for 2 1/2 years now; and I have my feet firmly planted on the ground with a healthy worldview. The weight is the only thing left for me to conquer in order to feel like I've started my life over again.
I also like to look at my weight loss as a competition, especially when I look at my journey with Weight Watchers. I like to compete with myself to see how much I can eat for the least amount of points plus values. I like to see how many activity points I can earn on a given day or week. Then I like to compete with myself to see how much weight I can loose. This is kind of like my relationship with swimming, where I competed with myself before I competed against other people. I think I'm developing that relationship with running, too. I push myself further in terms of speed or distance on a regular basis. I run my 10k a week from today, and that's a push that I don't think I was ready for even a month ago. But I know that I can run for at least an hour straight, so I can do this!
I mentioned in my last blog post that i was going to win my battle. There is a lot that goes into winning for me. It's more than just a number or a dress size for me. For me, it is a battle I've fought since Dad died. It's the battle of taking control over my life and not being a victim of circumstance. Everyone has bad stuff that happens to them. I chose to eat in order to deal with the emotional trauma associated with the loss of my dad and grandfather in the same month. I don't need to do that anymore. Through counseling, I think I've reconciled a lot of the unresolved issues surrounding my dad's death. I'm no longer terrified to drive on highways and I've been able to see the silver lining: we donated Dad's tissues, which have significantly improved the quality of life of other people; Gregg an I turned our relationship around and we're happily married for 2 1/2 years now; and I have my feet firmly planted on the ground with a healthy worldview. The weight is the only thing left for me to conquer in order to feel like I've started my life over again.
I also like to look at my weight loss as a competition, especially when I look at my journey with Weight Watchers. I like to compete with myself to see how much I can eat for the least amount of points plus values. I like to see how many activity points I can earn on a given day or week. Then I like to compete with myself to see how much weight I can loose. This is kind of like my relationship with swimming, where I competed with myself before I competed against other people. I think I'm developing that relationship with running, too. I push myself further in terms of speed or distance on a regular basis. I run my 10k a week from today, and that's a push that I don't think I was ready for even a month ago. But I know that I can run for at least an hour straight, so I can do this!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Two Years Later...
I made this blog a long time ago, but clearly I have not utilized it to its full potential. I started it as a way to keep myself honest, and because I don't anticipate this being read by many people, have it as an outlet for some of the emotions that come along with weight loss. If I've learned anything in the last few years, it's that weight loss is an emotional journey that dredges up unresolved feelings of past hurt, the disappointment or pride in yourself, the anger that you did this to yourself, and the excitement that the journey brings you.
First thing's first. I've actually been successful at my weight loss journey this time. I joined Weight Watchers in July of 2010 and I have lost 23 pounds, as of this writing. It's not a lot of weight in this long of a time, but I am beyond proud of my progress, espcially considering the life challenges I've faced during this year and a half. I graduated grad school, bought a house, started teaching at the university level, worked three jobs at once, and maintained a happy life outside of school and work. There were months that my only goal was to maintain my weight, and for a while there, the scale creeped on up. I'm on the way back down due to my personal dedication to not let myself fail in this endeavor.
For me, weight loss is only partially superficial. Sure, I like the way that I look now that I've lost weight, and I dream of one day wearing a bikini with no shame again. Mostly, though, my weight loss journey is allowing me to prove to the world and myself that I can overcome. I have not let my dad's death control my life. I may have let the unresolved trauma shape me into the 202 pound woman that I once was, but it's not who I am now. It's not who he would be proud of. I am strong, and in the last 4 1/2 years since he died, I have become stronger. I will win.
First thing's first. I've actually been successful at my weight loss journey this time. I joined Weight Watchers in July of 2010 and I have lost 23 pounds, as of this writing. It's not a lot of weight in this long of a time, but I am beyond proud of my progress, espcially considering the life challenges I've faced during this year and a half. I graduated grad school, bought a house, started teaching at the university level, worked three jobs at once, and maintained a happy life outside of school and work. There were months that my only goal was to maintain my weight, and for a while there, the scale creeped on up. I'm on the way back down due to my personal dedication to not let myself fail in this endeavor.
For me, weight loss is only partially superficial. Sure, I like the way that I look now that I've lost weight, and I dream of one day wearing a bikini with no shame again. Mostly, though, my weight loss journey is allowing me to prove to the world and myself that I can overcome. I have not let my dad's death control my life. I may have let the unresolved trauma shape me into the 202 pound woman that I once was, but it's not who I am now. It's not who he would be proud of. I am strong, and in the last 4 1/2 years since he died, I have become stronger. I will win.
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